Editor's Note: "I" Standstill


Dear Noctules:

Lately, I've been thinking about how I'd like to improve upon Novel Noctule as a publication. I feel that we've hit a vague, intangible roadblock, and I'm constantly looking for new ways to get us unstuck. Try as I might, I haven't quite been able to curb my appetite for unyielding, wine-barrel-tumbling-down-a-steep-hill forward movement, despite its frequent lack of direction. You'll come to understand that about me, I think. For one, learning about digital marketing lately has been a doozy, and I still don't get it all that much (probably because I don't really want to) (I'm so resistant) (I don't actually like social media and tech, despite being a 20-something and liking you all very much) Whew. Since starting this project in January, I've always been of the somewhat old-fashioned, single-tracked mind that the work should speak for itself. That that's what should bring readers and supporters in. That that's what should be able to tell you about who I am, what this magazine is meant to be, and what we stand for. The stories, the visuals, the editorials themselves.


The editorials.


To be quite honest, I'm starting not to like my own editorials. I've considered striking them from the NN record and hoping that nobody will notice or care. Do you guys read them? They're well-written, yeah. Well, maybe. I hope so? Who knows. But, as much as they've come from the heart (they always, always have) I've found myself wanting more. There's a distance inherent in these small things I've written. There are only so many variations of from-the-heart inspirationals that I can spin into monthly notes, and I've noticed that they're always, always written in the third person or first-person plural. So, I've begun to wonder: Why don't I ever speak to you all as myself? I'm not sure, but I'd like to start.


Honestly, you can ask my high school English teacher, Mrs. Holt—I've had trouble using the "I" voice for a long time. Where this comes from, I have no clue. But, for the first time now, there's something that I want more than just to be this off-color hermit who likes bats, writes in the first person plural, publishes weird horror, and maybe eats too much cheese: I want to build a community. I want to make connections with amazing writers and creatives who want to move the world like I do, even if moving the world just means giving someone the lit-fueled dopamine rush that they've been craving at the end of each month. And, as this quiet discontentment with the state of my editorials grows, I'm starting to realize... I can't build a community if you don't know me. You guys can't make friends with a ghost. It's been changing gradually without much conscious intention but, this month, I want to do this editorial thing a bit differently.


Hi, hello. I'm Jacqueline Dyre. I'm learning how to write in the first person singular. This is me, not focusing on impact. This is me, focusing on process because we are all in process. Welcome to Novel Noctule. Take a seat, get comfortable. Sorry I'm late. I hope that we can keep learning from one another and that someone saved me a bit of brie.


J.D.

DENNY E. MARSHALL has had art, poetry, and fiction published. Some recent credits include cover art for Dreams & Nightmares #116 Sept. 2020 and poetry in Scifaikuest August 2020. This year, his website is celebrating 20 years on the web. In 2020, his artwork is for sale for the first time. The link is on his website @ www.dennymarshall.com.

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